Post Traumatic Holiday Disorder

now that the dust has settled on the christmas holiday...i finally feel as if i'm starting to make sense of the dizzying experience of travel, presents, and family. i almost wish that we could divide the holiday up over the course of the year. maybe january i could celebrate with my mom's family. maybe in february we could celebrate with my dad's family. maybe in march we could celebrate with tim's family. april could be, well, that is my birthday, so we'll reserve it. but may could be reserved for jennie ann...and onward. you get the point. i suppose i always get a bit inundated with the gift exchange and social interaction.

upon return home, i walked in the house (where the cats had been left to fend for themselves for two days) to find chaos. they decided to "roll" the bathroom with toilet paper, like three teenagers left home alone. they tore down the stockings, i suppose looking for more presents than the one i bought them.

the pictures are of my brothers. the top one is of taylor. the bottom one is of john. as a friend of mine once said about her 20 year old daughter, "the aliens that had her captive for the last 10 years have finally brought her home." i feel somewhat the same about my brothers. i felt like this last visit home brought us closer together again...as they are growing up and becoming humans i can communicate with outside of the fact they are my brothers.





regardless, i received many wonderful and thoughtful gifts. i think that with the overwhelming consumption, i have continued to purchase. for example, today i got a new cellphone...and only about 3 years behind the trend, i finally have a camera phone. so i can only warn you that i might be sending cell phone photos for the next few weeks...forgive me in advance. i'm sure for the coming weeks, i'll personalize every person in my new cell phone with a picture, ringtone. aah, yes, the power of organization.

after all the holiday excitement, i've been catching up on my reading, writing, movie watching, and beer drinking. as you can tell, it has been a rough few days, but i'm surviving.

i'm heading to atlanta tomorrow for the band of horses show at the earl. i'm stoked to see the horses, as i haven't seen them perform. i'm also really excited to see my old friends that keep themselves busy in atlanta. not to mention, i get to see my mom again...so i promise to get a picture (cellphone one or otherwise) of her swooning and crooning to the horses.

i'm already starting to compile a list in my head about new years...it is vague, but coming together.

i am person obsessed with making lists. i mostly use lists to help organize my day. though, i also use lists to plan larger projects. say, my holiday lists. there was one for christmas cards. one for the christmas mix. one for gifts.i even make lists on days that i have very little to do. at times, it may simply be comprised of:

-wake up
-check e-email
-exercise
-shower
-watch movies
-internet shopping

of course, my lists are more helpful (as you can see from above) when i have more to do. so during the semester when i'm teaching about 300 students, these lists help me keep everything organized. during the busy part of the semester, i make several lists a day. they become very detailed including exact times, even scheduled meals. throughout the day, i go through and cross off the items i've completed. it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

so here is the dilemma. my life has drastically been altered in the last week. i have gone from having a very busy, full schedule to having absolutely no structure to my day. now i just have vague suggestions for how to fill my day. now, you might be thinking- but what about all the holiday lists? yes, i'm done. i've even already wrapped my presents.

so, now i'll fill my days with watching movies, reading books, and working on my book project. i know, i know- what am i complaining about? i'm not. it is just difficult to go from being extremely busy to being extremely not busy. don't worry- i'm adjusting.

what is on the agenda today?
-watching flight of the conchords (again)
-rent some movies
-read some of Klosterman's IV
-work on writing up my musical history for the book
-go to the book store to buy a couple of Woody Allen books (Mere Anarchy and The Insanity Defense)

now i just have to figure out how to sleep past 7:00am.

oh yes, the new website is up and going....check it out

www.musicismemory.com

Why I Teach...

hi ms. everhart,
yes will you please email me my grades. i just wanted to tell you that
i really enjoyed your class you made issues of the world interesting. i
never thought i'd be interested in politics but now i am, and i will be
voting in the upcoming election for the first time. so thank you for be
such a good teacher and making things that could be boring interesting.
thank you


Sometimes it is nice to be reminded of why it is you do what you do...

An Inverse Correlation

I'll be honest...I haven't thought about whether or not a correlation is direct, positive, indirect, inverse, negative in almost a year. Today as I went for my walk, I discovered...I'm experiencing an inverse correlation.

As the number of exams left for the semester decrease, my life satisfaction, creativity, and happiness all increase.

Is there causality you propose? Perhaps.

december 13th. my holiday break officially begins. i'm at the tail end of the semester and i couldn't be happier. one last week of lecturing and one week of exams and i'll finally be able to spend my time as i see fit.

this last weekend was completely indicative of the end of the semester. completely chaotic and frustrating. it all began with a crazy dream of spiders. it was sort of kathy in wonderland type of dream. the one thing that stayed with me the longest was the image of a white spider. the first morning, i didn't think too much about it, but when i had the dream for a second night- i thought there might be something to it.

there were a couple of very large white spiders. they were noisy. they were trying to wrap their spinning thread around me. it was scary, but i thought i was able to avoid getting completely captured by the spiders. so what does this spider dream mean?

it can mean any variety of things...such is the case with symbols in dreams. perhaps i'm anxious, perhaps i'm worried about being stuck, perhaps it is a sign of creativity, or i could use the Jungian archetypal analysis...which believes that spiders call for greater self-understanding and encourage us to derive meaning and satisfaction from the intricate framework and interplay of life...

certainly.

so, things would have been fine until saturday when i had an interaction with a different type of insect. a gnat. not in a dream, but unfortunately in real life. early in the morning, tim and i discovered quite a few gnats in our house. upon further inspection, we started to notice there were more and more of them. i quickly surveyed the house for a piece of fruit gone bad. nope. starting to use my powers of investigative research...i began to deduce that perhaps that gnats were finding their way into our house from the air conditioning unit...

tim and i quickly dealt with this infestation by removing the air conditioning unit, which as tim adeptly carried this huge monstrosity around the house...i ran through the house to the back door, where we planned to store the unit. i tried to open the back door to help tim, which gave some resistance. so i pulled it again- at which time a huge cast iron pan that we store above the door came cascading down, only stopping to hit my hand and then my shin.

the day did get better. and i haven't had another dream of spiders.

what else is new?

i'm working on a new blog for my book on music, so i'll be sure to update you on the status, as soon as it gets up and running.

i've applied (formally) to graduate school. yes, more school and more debt.

and i'm thinking of quitting one of my many teaching jobs, so i can spend more time working on my book and yes, you know, spend more time enjoying myself.