"at the end of the night, we'd all seen better days"

as promised, i took a trip at the beginning of this week down to the charleston area to interview ben bridwell of band of horses for the book. this was not the original intent of the trip, as we also had tickets to see the watson twins and magnolia electric company.

the show itself was fantastic. i got the opportunity to meet jason molina. as some would say, "it came full circle"...at least the idea for the book, music, memories.

overall, i found it awfully refreshing to spend time in the company of some really fucking cool people. and i'm not sure what i had expected otherwise, but there is something i love about meeting folks from a band you admire...and finding out that they really are as down to earth and nice as you had always hoped.

it was a long evening, but yes, as the lyric reads, "at the end of the night, we'd all seen better days..."

i'll save my abstracted, foggy memories...but there is one line from the evening i'll never forget. stamped on my memory of the trip, of the music, of the adventure.

"1, 2, 3, 4...5 pussies"

The rationalists...

A clip from the latest Bill Maher...


And finally, New Rule: Just because the Constitution doesn't have a religious test for office, doesn't mean I can't. This past Monday was Constitution Day in the U.S. And while I was going over the Constitution with my two adopted kids—[laughter]—Zack Ono and Mogadishu—[laughter]—I'm home schooling them—[laughter]—I was struck again by Article 6, Section 3. It says, "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office." And I agree. No one should ever be disqualified for their religion. Even the funny ones. [laughter] Like all of them. [applause] [cheers]

But, the problem is that there is a religious test in this country. According to a recent poll, seven in ten say it's important to have a president with strong religious beliefs. The other three couldn't take the poll because it was Friday night and Yahweh wouldn't let them answer the phone. [laughter]

But, fair is fair. So, for myself and the other 15-20% of American who the majority call "non-believers," but who I call "rationalists," [applause] here is our religious test for office: if you believe in Judgment Day, I have to seriously question your judgment. [laughter]

If you believe you're in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space-daddy—[laughter]—who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever—[laughter]—you can't have my vote, even for Miss Hawaiian Tropic. [laughter] [applause]

I can't trust you at the levers of government because there's an electrical fire going on in your head. [laughter]

Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to Heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed. [applause] [cheers]

Candidate Mitt Romney, a Mormon, believes in spiritually-blessed underwear that can protect him. [laughter] He seemed like a nice man, and so do his sons, Wally and the Beav. [laughter] But, I'm sorry, their religion is bat-shit. [laughter] It's like Scientology without the celebrities. [laughter] [applause] And he has every right to run for president while believing in magic underwear, and believing that Jesus survived his own death and will return during an Osmonds' concert in Branson. [laughter] And I have every right to take that into consideration in the voting booth.

And at the end of the day, is magic underwear really that much crazier than giant arks or virgin births or talking bushes? You're either a rationalist or you're not. And the good news is, a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy. [laughter] [applause]

Now, 20% is hardly a majority, but it's a bigger minority than blacks, Jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers or seniors. And it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that WE'RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES! [applause] [cheers]

Just because the vote is 4-to-1, it doesn't mean the minority is wrong. People who were against this war from the start were a minority. The majority used to believe the world was flat. But if you believe that today, you'd either be packed off to Bellevue or asked to co-host "The View." [laughter] [applause] [cheers]

Hipster Olympics

awwww. thanks to glover for this video. i just had to share it with the rest of the world (those four of you- wait, three, exempt of glover)...

My suggestions for legislation on clothing...

i'm sure you've all heard by now about the latest "baggy pants" ban...where they are passing legislation (i think it has only passed in a small town in Louisiana) to ban pants that are too baggy and sag down. what the fuck? not only do i personally think this is crossing some boundaries in who is being targeted here, but this just doesn't seem to be the most pressing issue in our society, does it?

but i figured i should jump on the band wagon, if we are going to start legislating the clothes that people can wear...then good goddamn, let's make some changes. we all know there are lots of clothing and styles that should be outlawed. and i believe this presents the perfect opportunity to start over in fashion.

1) CROCS...please. let's just do away with this. its awful. and no, i don't care how comfortable they are.

2) TINY MINI-SKIRTS. see...now, if the baggy pants are an issue of indecent exposure, then we need to start making some women cover it up. one of my students came to class last week wearing the shortest skirt i've ever seen. why?

3) OVER-DONE CLEAVAGE. while i'm bagging on women...cover it up. seriously. if you've seen the commercials for the new tim gunn show...he says it best when he says, "no, not sexy. not at all..." (i'm paraphrasing)...but you really don't have to put it out on the table to be sexy...and if you are, you are probably not getting the right type of attention for it either.

4) SANDALS/FLIP FLOPS WITH SOCKS. wrong. always wrong. i think i broke up with a guy for doing this once. that's right. once. and i never got the image out of my head.

5) WHITE, OLD ATHLETIC SHOES. you know the ones. they are crusty. they bow up at the toes. from the passage of time, and the washing machine. please...don't wear these unless you are running, mowing the grass, or otherwise out of the public eye.

6) SHIRTS THAT ARE TOO SMALL FOR YOU or TOO BIG FOR YOU. i know. i'm getting picky here. but i am simply tired of walking outside to check the mail to find a slew of construction workers with tight white t-shirts on (i know, you'd think they were in the band hot hot heat or something)...well, wait, i suppose they are in hot, hot heat weather-wise...oh damn. regardless, i do not need to play peek-a-boo with your belly. so cover it up.

7)OVERSIZED SUNGLASSES. okay, i know...very few of you can get away with this. my mom is one of them...she looks like a movie-star in them. the rest of you look like bugs.

8) GAUCHO PANTS. always wrong. particularly when the attempt is made to dress these up to wear out to the club. bad idea.



hmm. what else...do you have any suggestions? i'm sure i'm missing tons of them.

Guitar Girl?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qD_wjAZfC8o

Are you kidding me? I remember dubbing this gal "guitar girl"...I also remember her asking if she could play the open mike at Cafe Bisous that I use to help organize. Oh yeah...and dragging her guitar around with her everywhere. Perhaps that would have made an interesting American Express commercial...or at least Mastercard.

Does anyone find it somewhat odd that these commercials show these people jet-setting around the world? Like Shaun White and such. I understand people have to travel...but its almost as if they are boasting about taking a plane to one continent and then to another in the same day, just to play a show or snowboard or whatever.

Is it just me or isn't there an environmental crisis going on? Maybe American Express should make one showing someone using their card to switch their diesel to running on vegetable oil...just a thought.

i know. i'm a fucking hippie now.

Falling in Love

Indeed, I've fallen back in love with the beach. The tourists have all gone home after Labor Day. I walked out on the beach (twice) on Wednesday to celebrate my impending pensive daily walks...

There is tons more to say. I've started classes. Perhaps the most challenging, but invigorating semester and students so far. More on this later.

Onward to good news about my book project...I'm in the process of securing interviews with folks from Elf Power and Band of Horses. That makes me almost as happy as the empty beach.

Yes, I'm busy as can be right now. I promise to save some time this weekend to share my wit and anecdotes with you.