my compass spins, the wilderness remains

i've been here over a week now. i'm starting to settle in. i think for the first week i had something equivalent to woody allen's "california" disease. i felt dizzy, sleepy, irritable. then magically when i drove back into charlotte on friday, i felt fine. of course it could have been the fact that i know where every starbucks in charlotte exists, as well as how to get to all of them in about 30 seconds.

yesterday morning, i checked on my transplanted plants. they haven't been looking so great since we've been here. i realized that the amount of sun the plants are getting has gone from consistently in the shade to consistently in the sun. moving from extreme to extreme can be difficult. when i checked on the plants yesterday...i noticed they were starting to flower and look better. i thought to myself, hmm...they just needed some time to get acclimated to the sun and environment. then i realized...that's what i'm going through. i'm trying to acclimated to this environment. to all the change. and i think i'm starting to flower too...

after i thought my schedule (scchhhhedueeellleee) was set, it appears there was some confusion about a couple of my classes at the technical college. one will not be happening and as of today i still have no clue about my high school class. that makes me feel weird and nervous. i did teach my first CCU class last night. most of the class are new freshmen and women...so at least we are all in the same boat (literally and figuratively). i think its going to be a good half a semester with them...

i spent this afternoon on the beach. i needed a little down time...so i took Anna Karenina and my new Real Simple magazine, as well as my ipod. lucky for you, i also took my camera. tim has recently had a renewed interest in bright eyes, which is pleasant for me...since i'm personally such a big fan. its been quite a while since i've seen conor or mike...and listening to them has made me realize how much i'd love to chat it up with them again. oh well...i suppose that's the price of fame.

i listened to this one particular song of bright eyes make war while i was sitting out on the beach and it felt nice. why is that music always sounds better when you are sitting in front of something beautiful like the ocean? for some reason, to me every lyric of every song would somehow make me feel melancholic and pensive...i'm sure even poison and cinderella (who are at this moment less than one mile from my house!)

and oh yeah, that's a picture of the walkway we take from the house to the beach...it also seemed to fit the song...

"our love is dead but without limit
like the surface of the moon
or the land between here and the mountains
it is not these hiding places that have kept us innocent
but the way you taught me to just let it all go by
so we have learned to be as faithless, stand behind bulletproof glass
exchanging our affections through a drawer
it was always horribly convenient and happening too fast
you should count your change before you are even out the door
yes, you should but please...

return, return to the person that you were
and i will do the same
because it is too hard to belong to someone who is gone
my compass spins, the wilderness remains...

well, now i tell myself i've mended
under these patches of blue sky
there are still a few holes that let in a little rain
so it is crying on my shingles
my floorboards maon under my feet
the refrigerator is whining, so i've got reason to complain
but i am not gonna bless you with such compliments
some degrading psalm of praise
like the kind that converted you to me so long ago
because the truth is that gossip is as good as gospel in this town
you can save face but you won't ever save your soul
and that's a fact..."